Remembering Gary

My cousin, Gary Marsh, was one of my favorite people as a child. Every time we visited my mom's family, I immediately wanted to know two things: is Gary there and can I play with the critters nearby. He lived out deep in rural Arkansas, on land that has been in my family for generations.

Gary was probably the most talented guitarist I've ever met. It was like his fingers were born to play. He was self taught and incredibly smart - he scored extremely high on the Navy entrance exam, but decided not to enlist. He was offered a job by a metal band in Europe to be the guitarist.

Gary was also mentally ill and quality mental health care was difficult to access in rural Arkansas. He had an unfair amount of trauma and had a history of substance abuse. It is a dangerous combination and one that is hard to escape. He would get enraged and threaten people he loved. It hurt, but we all had to enforce strict boundaries with him and most of us stopped speaking to him.

He tried to fight against everything, but it was eventually too much. When he was diagnosed with a painful medical condition, he spiraled. In the summer of 2021, he died by suicide.

Because he couldn't do it himself, I want to make sure the world remembers him at his best: a genius guitarist. He wrote some of his own songs - surely someone can turn them into books of sheet music? We have a lot of recordings of him playing music; with the help of my fiance and our musician friends and family, I want to create Mosaic of Sound studios.

Through this project, his music can be released for everyone to enjoy. Proceeds can go to suicide prevention and mental health outreach. Mental health providers, researchers, and especially music therapists can work together and save lives that are so very much worth living.