My Butrans Near-death Experience
I'm a tough bitch to kill.
Though an adverse reaction to butrans tried its best, it was unsuccessful.
Butrans is a synthetic opioid used for persistent, severe pain and ironically, opioid addiction (It binds to opioid receptors and affects the way they're processed). I have chronic pain - not surprising - and my palliative care doctor, Dr. G, put me on it.
It initially was good! I started having more health issues in February following a hospitalization. I had the flu, recovered, but then had breathing issues and required supplemental oxygen (2L) continuously. I chalked it up to my disabilities.
I managed for a while. Eventually, I developed my own therapy plan to try to regain flexibility and mobility. I did it consistently for seven months and started to see major improvements! All of a sudden, the pain and stiffness and anxiety got worse. It was harder to rest and relax - if not impossible. I was afraid of falling asleep and had developed sleep apnea (yet to receive my CPAP). I was terrified of falling asleep and never waking up.
November it really hit the fan. So much happened that it will take multiple posts to discuss. I had most of the side effects. I went to the ER multiple times. A CT scan showed that my brain stem was being slightly compressed. The ER doctor said I was wasting his time and threatened to call the police to remove me (I couldn't get out of the bed).
I had been treated for infection and recovered, but still was suffering. I had to monitor my vitals and adjust my oxygen often. As a wave of pain and spasticity hit me November 24, the thought, “it's the butrans” flashed through my mind. So, I looked at the side effects.
It was the butrans:
Shallow breathing and breathing issues
Anxiety
Convulsions
Pain
Low blood pressure
Slow pulse
I checked to see if I would have withdrawal from quitting cold turkey and then ripped it off and threw it away. I gradually started to feel better. Then, I started to feel stiff and like I had rigor mortis. My muscles and bones audibly crunched with my movements sometimes. I got it to relax sometimes but it spread to my neck and chest. My vitals plummeted to dangerously low levels.
I was dying.
I screamed for my parents to call the paramedics, get narcan, and the Epipen. My dad shook as he tried to administer narcan to my stiffened body, but it missed my nose. I screamed at him to give me the Epipen as my oxygen dropped to 20% and I fought to stay awake by dropping my head below my heart and supported it with my hand.
My pulse was slow and I tried to wiggle my feet. As soon as the Epipen was in, everything returned to normal. The paramedics arrived right after and dismissed the situation. I lectured them on the effects of an Epipen and what happened - with a multitude of insults to their intelligence and a demand for narcan. I had to cuss out four adult men, but they gave it to me.
My body relaxed and I could breathe easily.
I spent the next three days recovering in the hospital. But, I started to feel better than I had in a decade.
Dr. G however? She denied that I had an adverse reaction and tried to put me on it again but a lower dose. I refused and we got into a heated argument.
